Our Favourite Quotes From The Simpsons

  1. To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems

    - Matt Groening

  2. For the next five minutes, I’m going to party like it’s on sale for $19.99.

    - Unattributed

  3. I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.

    - Unattributed

  4. Shut up, brain, or I’ll stab you with a Q-tip!

    - Unattributed

  5. Now make like my pants, and split.

    - Unattributed

  6. I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.

    - Unattributed

  7. Yes,Mr. Burns, The Simpsons but I’d trade it all for a little more.

    - Unattributed

  8. Oh boy. Looks like it’s suicide again for me.

    - Unattributed

  9. Ironic, isn’t it, Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election. And yet, if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That’s democracy for you.

    - Unattributed

  10. When a woman says nothing’s wrong, that means everything’s wrong. And when a woman says everything’s wrong, that means everything’s wrong. And when a woman says something’s not funny, you’d better not laugh your ass off.

    - Unattributed

  11. La…tex con…dome. Boy, I’d like to live in one of those.

    - Unattributed

  12. Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

    - Unattributed

  13. It’s not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

    - Unattributed

  14. Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy.

    - Unattributed

  15. I don’t mind if you pee in the shower, but only if you’re taking a shower.

    - Unattributed